Although there are abundant horror stories about deadbeat fathers, divorced dads who want to spend more time with their kids are a growing group trying to be heard. In his latest book, Hollywood celebrity Alec Baldwin speaks of his own struggle with post-divorce alienation from his daughter — we are forced to think that this is not just a problem faced by regular guys because it’s happens a lot to many divorced fathers.

The common complaint about how divorce law is flawed is that it contributes to further fracturing of the family post-divorce. Fathers are supposed to pay child support but are only allowed every other Sunday to play the role of dad. They basically are not given much entitlement to see their children.

Furthermore, other complications such as the custodial spouse moves to another country or re-marries that lead to alienation between father and children. Common scenarios, but heart-breaking nonetheless.

An advocacy group started in Britain, called Fathers4Justice, has 33 offshoot organizations all over the world, including the US.

It is a reality that family courts do favor the mother in terms of custody and some are brave enough to say that the courts are “afraid” of women’s charter groups. Although there are compelling statistics to say that women suffer more post divorce, these numbers do not measure the emotional aspect of what a split family goes through post-divorce.

Silently suffering dads are not keeping quiet anymore and groups like Fathers4Justice, American Coalition for Fathers and Children, and Alliance for Non-custodial Parents Rights have been pushing for changes in custody law and changing the image of the callous divorced or unwed father.

Age-old gender stereotypes also permit this on-going unfairness — men are not good caregivers, and so don’t deserve to be in a primary nurturing role for their children.

But there is progress in this issue and some family experts have hope for change as society acknowledges that divorced men can be good fathers. They argue that if child-rearing today is defined as a responsibility to be shared equally between a married couple, then it should remain so, even after divorce.

Related posts:

1. Basic facts of child support
2. Paul McCartney in divorce face-off with Heather Mills
3. Alec Baldwin talks about divorce and fatherhood in new book

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